When Kindness Meets a Snake: Repeating Mistakes, Protecting Peace, Setting Boundaries
- WHOSE TEA TV
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
My brother-in-law once told me a story that stayed with me.
A snake lay frozen in the cold, barely able to move. A little girl passed by and felt sorry for him. He asked her to place him inside her coat so he could warm up. She hesitated. She told him she was afraid he would bite her.
He promised he would not.
She believed him and tucked him into her coat.
Once he was warm and strong again, he bit her. As she cried out in pain, she reminded him of his promise. He looked at her and said she already knew what he was when she picked him up.
That story keeps resurfacing in my mind because I feel the sting of it in my own life.
Recognizing the Pattern of Repeating Mistakes
I am a motivator and a coach. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, and a friend. Helping people has always come naturally to me. I give without calculation. I show up because it feels like the right thing to do.
But even strong people reach a breaking point.
Strength does not cancel out exhaustion. Compassion does not make us immune to burnout. Being dependable does not mean we can carry everyone forever. We are human. We feel strain. We feel disappointment. We feel worn down when the giving never balances out.
Recently, I was bitten more than once by the same snake.
I kept believing things would change. I kept offering warmth, understanding, and patience. I kept making space for someone who had already shown me their nature.
When it happened again, the pain landed differently. I could not talk myself out of it this time. I was not being supported. I was being drained. I was preyed on, not prayed for. And deep down, I knew better.
Protecting Your Peace When Burnout Shows Up
The warning signs were not subtle.
My energy dropped. My body felt heavy. My spirit felt bruised. Emotion spilled into physical strain. These were not random symptoms. They were signals I chose to ignore because I wanted to believe in someone’s potential.
That realization stopped me cold.
It is sobering to see how much of yourself you can pour into someone who has no intention of meeting you where you stand.
Reflection question: What patterns are you excusing because you believe in who someone could become? repeating mistakes, protecting peace, setting boundaries
Why Setting Boundaries Is Necessary
Around that time, I came across a post by Jay Herrera. His words echoed something I already knew. Helping others should come from sincerity, not from a need to be seen or validated. I agree with that fully. I do not need applause. I help because it is who I am.
What I had to face was this truth.
Kindness without boundaries becomes a quiet form of self-harm.
Supporting someone who refuses to grow does not make you noble. It makes you depleted. There is a difference between compassion and codependency. One respects your well-being while offering care. The other trades your peace for loyalty.
Why Love Alone Does Not Change Patterns
People like me often believe we can out love a pattern. This is where personal development collides with the hard truth.
There is no amount of healing work you can do that will fix someone who does not want to change. The shift is not about loving harder. It is about loving yourself enough to step back.
We tell ourselves our consistency will soften them. That our patience will eventually change the outcome. But the story of the snake tells the truth we resist.
When someone shows you their nature, your compassion does not rewrite it. Your patience does not turn poison into medicine. Your warmth only gives them the strength to repeat the same behavior.
Reflection question: Where are you offering warmth while ignoring clear warning signs?
Compassion Versus Codependency
I am learning to protect the parts of myself that keep me grounded. I am learning that empathy needs limits. This is not about becoming cold or closed off. It is about sustainable growth.
I can still be generous without letting anyone drain me to the point of collapse. I can still love and choose distance. I can still encourage others while being honest with myself about their behavior.
That balance is wisdom, not selfishness.
Rest Is Not a Failure
Boundaries are not rejection. Protecting your peace is not punishment.
I remind myself daily that I am human. I feel sadness. I feel anger. I feel disappointment. I feel tired. None of this means I failed. It means I care. It means I gave deeply. It means I need rest and deserve it.
Trusting Your Instincts in Relationships
The snake story ends with the girl realizing she ignored her instincts. My story is shifting in another direction.
I am choosing not to ignore mine anymore.
I am learning to secure my own warmth before offering it to others. I am learning to step back when someone shows me who they are. I am learning that compassion and wisdom can exist together.
This lesson applies to any age or stage of life. Whether you are setting your first boundaries in your twenties or rebuilding them later on, the truth holds steady.
Your instincts are valid.
Practical Ways to Protect Your Peace
Journal about relationships that drain you versus those that energize you. Look for patterns, not excuses.
Practice saying, I need to protect my peace. You do not owe a detailed explanation for honoring your limits.
Pay attention to physical signals like exhaustion, tension, and illness. Your body warns you before your mind accepts the truth.
A vibrant yellow snake basks in the warm glow of sunlight, showcasing its intricate scales against a backdrop of rocks and foliage.
Final reflection question: How many times have you been bitten while telling yourself it would be different?
A Final Word
If you recognize a snake in your life, ask yourself one honest question.
How many more times are you willing to be bitten?
You deserve peace. You deserve protection. You deserve rest. You deserve to keep your coat closed and your spirit intact.
Your kindness is a gift. Guard it with the same care you give to everyone else.
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